Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

I experienced a microaggression just last weekend.  I was talking with a friend about redecorating my house, and trying to bring a soft touch to my husband’s den.  Knowing that I have a male family member who is gay, my friend jokingly said, “Just ask (family member’s name)”.  I laughed it off because I wasn’t sure how to respond.  This was very hurtful to me, because it made me wonder what she thought of this family member of mine that I am very close to.  This same friend and her husband also tried to introduce this family member of mine to their only gay friend.  Not because they had and similar interests or beliefs, but because they were gay.  I am now realizing that I should probably say something the next time one of these microaggressions occur.  My guess is that she is not only doing this with me.   
     

This week has really made me look deeply into discrimination, prejudices and stereotypes on people.  It’s amazing to me how often they truly occur.  What is even more surprising is that the most damaging microaggressions can occur when they are not intended.  Many biased beliefs are far below the surface, and can surface surprisingly.  “Studies show people can be consciously committed to egalitarianism, and deliberately work to behave without prejudice, yet still possess hidden negative prejudices and stereotypes” (Teaching Tolerance, n.d.).  As suggested in many of this week’s readings, the first step can often be to admit and become aware of our hidden biases.  Knowing that we have some hidden biased beliefs allow us to better control them and attempt to eliminate them.  This week has allowed me to look very deeply at myself, and has revealed some things about my actions and personal beliefs that I was unaware of.    

References

Teaching Tolerance. (n.d.). Test yourself for hidden bias. Retrieved May 25, 2011, from http://www.tolerance.org/activity/test-yourself-hidden-bias

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

I talked with 2 family member, all of various ages about their ideas of culture and diversity.  Here are the answers they shared with me.

Jeremy (Age 32)

Culture is beliefs and core values that you are brought up in.

Diversity is different backgrounds such as backgrounds, race, sexual orientation, religion, gender, and age.

Kelli (Age 52) 

Culture is the many different ways that people live. Their religions, food, dress, living conditions, and beliefs.

Diversity is being able to understand that everyone is different and accepting that people do things differently. Diversity would mean accepting differences from different cultures.

Wayne (Age 79)

Culture to me is the beliefs, social forms and traits of a social group.

Diversity is balancing the various racial groups in a group such as college students.

When looking at the statements that my three family members made in regards to culture and diversity, I saw many of the aspects we have studied in this course so far.  In Week 2's video, Julie Benavides, Louise Derman-Sparks, and Nadiyah Taylor sat down to discuss the aspects of culture.  Julie's first definition was very similar to Jeremy's definition of diversity, covering the basics of race, ethnicity, age, gender, language, etc.  Nadiyah and Kelli went on to take it further stating that it is how we percieve the world, it's very personal, and it's how individuals choose to live.  Kelli was right on in her definition of diverisity, when talking discussing other differences, and learning to accept differences.  Wayne discussed social forms and groups, as well as beliefs.   

To me, culture goes very deeply.  It's not only the items we see on the outside that are very apparent to us such as gender, race, age, etc., but there is so much more below the surface that makes up one's culture such as values and beliefs. Diversity encompasses the differences between individuals.  The social identities that all individuals hold vary from one person to another, and this framework makes up each individual and allows for much diversity in our world. 

I found it interesting that Jeremy's definitions for culture and diversity went hand in hand.  His ideas of culture looked at the surface of culture, while his definition of diversity looked under the culture of diversity describing values and beliefs.  He omitted the fact that diversity is describing individuals differences.  I feel Kelli was definitely looking further in depth at both, and omitted some of the basic surface aspects of culture such as gender, race, age, etc.  Wayne also looked deeper under the surface when it came to his idea of culture.  I thought it was very interesting how he looked at diversity as a balance of races in particular groups. 


What this tells me is that once again, everyone is very diverse.  We are all diverse in our thinking and understanding of our and others cultures.  Some of us are more aware of the surface culture, while other's take a deeper understanding.  This will allow me to have a deeper understanding of other's behaviors in regarding to their personal understanding of culture.  For example, I often come across families who will discuss certain culture groups in a very assuming manner.  This tells me that this person may not purposefully being biased, but it could be due to a lack of knowledge or using visual images to make determinations in their beliefs. 

My Family Culture

Following a catastrophe in The United States, I am told that my family will be relocated in another country.  In addition to a change of clothes, I am allowed to bring 3 personal items with me.  I have chosen to bring 3 items that represent my family culture.  They are a photo album, The Holy Bible, and my family recipe book.

The reason in choosing a photo album would be due to memories and events holding so much value in our lives.  We have had many special events as a family such as our wedding day, the birth of our children, our weekly trips to the lake, and our vacations to Florida or Gatlinburg.  Our photo albums are also full of all of the important people in our lives.  With my girls being so young, I would not want them to forget about all of the important people who have impacted our lives.  Having images of these events and people give our daughters a picture to put with the story. 

The reason I would bring The Holy Bible is because I was raised in a Christian household, and am also raising my children in a Christian household.  Having this bible allows gives us a guide to stories that represent moral and values that we have built our family on.  I feel this is currently important to share with my children, and would continue to be important as they learn and grow, no matter what country we are in.

My final item is my family recipe book.  At my bridal shower, my grandmother presented me with a cookbook that contained all her favorite family recipes.  Some of them were passed down from her mother and grandmother, and others were obtained over the years.  These were all recipes that she made for my mother, my mother made for me, and I make for my children.  Over the last 10 years, I have added additional recipes to this book and plan on passing it on to my oldest daughter when she gets married someday.  This book not only represents our cultural food, but is a book that binds generations of women in my family. 

If I arrived in the country and was told to dispose of two of these items and only keep one, I would have to choose to keep the photo album.  Family is the most important aspect of my life!  Having these images to help with memories of events and family members would mean the most to me, as well as my children. 

When I first started exploring the personal cultural items that would be options for me, I have to admit my list was short.   As discussed in this week’s video and in this week’s text, we often have a hard time recognizing our own culture because it is our normal.  I was struggling with this as well.  After discussions with my husband and my mother, I was able to get a better idea of items that were truly important to me!